Does Meditation Make You Feel More Anxious?
This tweak will help if you are an introvert or have a history of trauma
Meditation has been a huge part of my recovery from CPTSD, but it often made me feel more anxious. Noting all those troublesome thoughts swirling inside my head wasn’t exactly calming.
Part of that is just how meditation works, but it’s more pronounced for introverts and/or people with a history of trauma. I finally figured out why, and what to do about it. Now my meditation practice is even more helpful.
Too Much Noise
We introverts are “inside our heads” most of the time. If we have a trauma history, it’s even worse. We’ve spent a large portion of our life learning to read other people. Some of us had to in order to survive. We learned to make others happy, and lost ourselves in the process.
When we sit down to meditate, we are flooded with thoughts and feelings. Ours and those of others. Double jeopardy. We feel it all.
No wonder we get anxious! That’s a lot to wade through.
So what do we do to compensate? We try to tune everything out and suppress the thoughts and feelings. Except that doesn’t work either.
Why?
“Nature abhors a vacuum”—Aristotle
You can’t have an empty mind. The point of meditation isn’t to zone out. It’s to be mindful of your thoughts.
So, the solution is to replace the overwhelming thoughts and feelings with something else. Something better.
But what?
Build Your Boundaries
Ah, I’m glad you asked! The solution is to build up your sense of self. Who are you? The real you—not who everyone else wants you to be?
If you have a history of trauma, you likely have poor boundaries. So use your meditation time to focus on how it feels to be inside your own body. Build up your sense of separation from others.
It’s not unusual for trauma survivors to dissociate, so learning to be fully present is therapeutic. When you feel more present and secure inside your own body, it’s easier to set boundaries and stop feeling everyone else’s “stuff.”
A Better Way to Meditate
You can use a simple meditation with a candle flame to practice this technique.
You stare at the lit candle and focus on the separation between you and others when you breathe in.
When you breathe out, you focus on being connected to others in the world.
That’s it! With practice, you will get the technique.
You can get an electronic candle (tea light) at the dollar store if you don’t want to work with a lit candle. It’s handy to carry one of those with you.
If you practice this, it works. I promise. You learn how to separate yourself from other people. You begin to understand and feel where you stop and others begin.
This practice is tremendously helpful with learning to set boundaries.
The Frame Technique Meditation
Here is a meditation that explains this technique in more detail and guides you through the practice. It’s called The Frame Technique Meditation. Much love to Aaron Doughty for sharing this technique on YouTube. It has helped me tremendously. I hope it helps you as well!
When I did this meditation, I could feel an immediate shift. I felt stronger and more confident. I felt more like ME—not who I thought I had to be for someone else.
That evening, I went to a crowded music jam and felt fairly comfortable in the crowd. It took me a few minutes to center, but I was able to play and sing a solo without feeling nervous!
If you try this meditation, let me know how it works for you. I hope it brings you as much healing as it has me.
Wishing you peace, happiness, and much love!
Lisa
Love this Lisa. I have struggled at times with meditation for these reasons too. I will have to try the flame technique, thanks!