What Does It Mean To Be a Strong Person?
Probably not what you think
I’ve been attacked by bullies several times this week on notes, and it’s getting old.
I was under the impression that the purpose of notes was to share pictures and thoughts, in a social media type feed.
Was I mistaken?
I guess so because a few grumpy old white guys took it upon themselves to tell me how angry they are about me sharing pictures of my cats.
This is a writing forum! You are just posting cat pictures to get engagement.
Well, I’m an introvert, and I don’t seek engagement in that way. Numbers don’t mean much to me, but authenticity and connection does.
Introverts share who we are in an authentic way to facilitate deeper connection.
And even if I were seeking engagement, so what? Isn’t that the point of writing a newsletter? To get people to read it? But heaven forbid I take attention away from a grumpy old white guy.
You know what I’m talking about. Social media is full of bullying.
People hit laugh emoji’s on Facebook when tragedy strikes. Yeah, it’s real funny when someone dies, gets sick, loses their job or home. Haha. Hysterical.
What is wrong with people?
People don’t believe in “love your neighbor” anymore. Now, people want to grind their neighbor into the dust and make sure they don’t have anything they don’t “deserve.”
That usually means anything certain grumpy old white guys think don’t think they should have. And they don’t think we should have much. Not even health care, or retirement.
This is the age of cruelty.
Why?
Because they can.
I’ve been bullied most of my life. Probably because I’m a quiet, shy person. Bullies love introverts. They can smell the vulnerability.
They think, “Aha! Here is a person I can degrade so I can feel better about my miserable self.”
And they do. Gleefully.
They strip away every bit of self-esteem they can, until there’s nothing left but a shell of a person. A person who feels completely unloved and unwanted. A person who feels they have nothing relevant left to offer.
And society congratulates them for doing it.
After all, everyone loves a “strong leader,” right? It doesn’t matter who they mistreat, abandon, or grind down to get there.
But that’s not what makes a person strong.
A truly strong person knows how to lift others up.
True strength is caring for “the least of these.” The people who cannot pay you back, or advance your position. The poor, the outcast, the foreigner, and the person not like you. The hungry, the prisoner, and the orphan.
Anyone can bluster and bully, but a strong person knows how to listen—really listen to others. To their needs and fears. To their hopes and joys. A strong person grieves and celebrates with them.
A strong person doesn’t need to tear others down. They are secure in their identity. They don’t need to take more away from those less fortunate to make themselves feel better. A strong person is a giver.
A weak person needs to degrade others so they can feel superior. That’s the definition of a bully—someone lacking in empathy.
I was so fortunate to grow up in the 70s and 80s without social media. I truly believe social media has greatly decreased our ability to empathize with others.
We have access to news and opinions all the time now, but we’ve forgotten how to truly listen. And we’ve lost critical thinking skills. Whatever message we hear from our favorite news source is what we believe. No questions asked.
It must be true because I heard it on the internet!
I was taught to have respect for everyone. Even people not like me. I was taught to be kind and respectful and honor compassion and love.
I was taught Christian values, back when that actually meant something, and wasn’t just a smoke screen for a political party. Those values meant something to me, and they still do. It’s sad that so many Christians exchanged their servant heart to one hungry for power.
I am saddened by the decline in empathy, and I don’t see it getting better anytime soon, unless we shift our definition of a strong person.
As for me, I will continue to prioritize compassion and empathy for ALL people because that’s who I am. But, I won’t put up with bullies. Here, or in real life.
Thanks for letting me share my heart.
Peace,
Lisa
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ALL CATS ALL THE TIME. Rude old white dudes can eff right off! Nobody hired them as the CatStack…I mean Substack police!!!
As you mentioned, hurt people will go and ‘hurt’ people to feel better about themselves. They seem to know what button that we haven’t healed yet to get a reaction out of us. Our lessons are to ignore their words, block and/or report them, and not let them get to us. Who knows, these grumpy old men might have unhealed cat buttons because their moms purrfered the pet cat over them. Or their wives left them and now live with cats.