When you have to make a difficult decision, you probably ask your close friends or family members for advice. You do research, and gather all the information you can. Then, you weigh all the options, and make the best informed decision you can.
That’s all any of us can do.
In my newsletter last week, I shared that I was trying EMDR again.
My intent was to inform and give people hope by talking about a treatment called EMDR. I was excited because I’m having some good results.
But, my decision got called out and attacked.
That’s why I switched that post to paid subscribers. I reacted to avoid any other negative comments about my personal choice.
I’ve changed the settings on that article back so that everyone can view it now because I think mental health information is important and should be available to everyone.
You can view that for free now here.
The comment was made when I shared the post on Notes, and not on the actual article, so I don’t know if the commenter even read the whole article.
EMDR has risks, and it’s not for everyone. In the wrong hands, it has the potential for harm. But for the right person, with the right practitioner, at the right time, it could be life-changing.
There are few absolutes in mental health care because we are all so different.
My first experience with EMDR was NOT good. That therapist didn’t know what she was doing, and it re-traumatized me.
After my first EMDR reprocessing session with her, I couldn’t sleep for three days and nights. My heart raced, and I felt like I was going to die. It was such a bad experience, I swore I would never do EMDR again.
Does that mean that EMDR and all therapists who do it are bad?
No, of course not.
It’s easy to judge other people without knowing them or their story.
People read an article (or even a comment) online and feel qualified to tell a person how to live their life without knowing a thing about them.
I had dozens of strangers on Medium tell me what I “should” and “shouldn’t” do regarding my mental health journey. It felt very invasive.
I’ve written about mental health for several years now in the hopes of providing information, giving hope, and letting people know they aren’t alone.
And that has had a cost.
People have the right to disagree with you. They do not have the right to frighten and dissuade you from your personal health decisions.
Nobody has that right.
You are the decider of what’s best for you, and no one else.
I am happy to provide information, but only you can decide what to do with it. There is no technique out there that works for everyone.
I genuinely enjoy writing about this topic because it’s personal for me. I want everyone to be encouraged, and have good information about how to improve their mental health.
The how? That’s your decision.
Are you completely against EMDR? That’s fine. You are the decider of what’s best for you. Let me offer you one more trauma therapy modality to consider.
After my initial bad experience with EMDR, I tried something called Brainspotting. I had a better experience with this method.
Dr. David Grand discovered Brainspotting in 2003 while using EMDR with a patient. He noticed her staring in space at what he now calls a “Brainspot”. He tried something different and had her hold her gaze. It helped her clear a mental block, and Brainspotting was born.
Have you ever been talking to someone about a difficult subject and found your gaze fixed to a spot on the floor? Or have you noticed someone staring at a spot on the wall or ceiling as they struggled to articulate a problem? That—is a “Brainspot”.
The theory is that our brain can process memories and traumas by accessing and staring at the correct spot in our field of vision. I find this fascinating, and it makes sense to me. I often find my gaze fixed on an area when I am thinking about a problem.
Brainspotting uses a fixed gaze instead of lateral eye movements.
You focus on the emotion or memory you want to process and notice where you feel it in your body. For example, if I’m angry, I often feel that in my jaw. If I’m sad, I may feel that in my chest.
Then the therapist helps you find the Brainspot by using a pointer. You focus on the feeling and follow the pointer with your eyes. Left, center, right, and then up and down to find the spot. You will know when you find it because the body sensation will increase. It sounds weird, but it is true.
Once you find the corresponding Brainspot, you rate the intensity of the emotion from one to ten. As you look at the spot, the emotion may intensify a bit at first. That’s normal, but it will ease as your brain processes the trauma. Ideally, you would get down to zero by the end of the session, but some issues are more complicated and take longer.
Like EMDR, Brainspotting can also help intensify a positive emotion. It is an indirect way to treat a memory that is too traumatic to approach directly. It is also helpful when working with self-confidence, performance, and creativity.
“Where you look affects how you feel.” — Dr. David Grand
EMDR felt like watching a movie on fast-forward. Brainspotting felt like a self-controlled slide show. That’s the best way I can explain the difference between my two experiences.
Brainspotting was better for me at the time. When I focused on a Brainspot, I had deep flashes of memories. It’s hard to explain, but I could feel my brain working through the trauma. I would have flashes of insight, and the initial physical discomfort would subside.
My body would relax so that by the end of the session, I would always start yawning. As you might imagine, this treatment method is also helpful for chronic pain. It is very much a total body experience.
Would I recommend Brainspotting? Absolutely! I think it is the best new treatment available for trauma. If you have tried EMDR and found it too stimulating, give Brainspotting a try.
So, if Brainspotting worked so well, why am I going back to EMDR?
Well, for one thing, I don’t currently have access to a therapist who uses this technique. If I did, I would do Brainspotting again without hesitation.
Most importantly, I haven’t been able to fully process my mother’s recent illness and death, which was a huge trauma. I’m having a hard time moving on from what happened, especially since it all went down during Covid lockdowns.
I want to get rid of the nightmares, insomnia, anxiety attacks, and crying spells. The grounding work is going well, so I think it’s worth continuing. I have a good EMDR therapist now who is well-trained and moving slowly so she doesn’t harm me.
In short, I trust her to help me.
As always, the decision is yours. I can give you information and tell you about my experiences, but it’s up to you to decide what is best for you.
You may not want to try either of these techniques, and that’s okay!
But one of these could be the answer for someone out there to resolve a lifetime of suffering, and that is why I’m writing about them.
Timing, and the right therapist, is everything. Inform yourself, and listen to your intuition. I believe you will know what’s best for you.
For what it’s worth, I care, and I want you to get relief.
Take care,
Lisa
* P.S.—I’m going to write some lighter posts for a while. I’m also thinking about starting a science fantasy series as an addition to my regular posts. It sounds like fun, and I’ll get to try something new!