“Good Will Hunting” Moments Are Rare in Therapy
Even if you have one, it's what comes next that's most important
I love the movie Good Will Hunting, starring Robin Williams, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.
Matt Damon’s character, Will Hunting, is a brilliant young man working as a janitor at MIT. Will has a gift for mathematics that few people could even comprehend. He can solve complex problems without breaking a sweat, and he couldn’t care less. He just wants to hang out with his friends.
Will has a complicated past, filled with trauma and abuse. He has no clue what he wants in life. He’s terrified to let anyone in. Not the girl he falls for, and not his court-mandated psychologist, Sean, played by Robin Williams.
There are many great moments between Will and Sean, and not all of them are warm and fuzzy. The culmination of their work together is the highlight scene of the movie.
It’s the famous “it’s not your fault” scene, and it’s brilliant. Will’s catharsis frees him from his past so he can move forward with his life. That’s what a good therapist can do for you.
But it’s Will’s next steps that are most important to his healing. It’s also where most therapy clients get stuck.
In the actual business of moving forward.
Will decides what he wants to do, and moves forward with his life. He moves full steam into his future and pursues the girl. He leaves the past behind, and takes a chance on love. The movie closes with him on the road, heading into his future.
Did you catch it?
Will was healed as he moved forward with his life. Not from getting more therapy, filling out more worksheets, reading more books, watching more videos, etc.
His moment in therapy was important, but his true healing happened as he went on with his life and lived what he learned. That’s when he became truly free and whole.
He didn’t need to analyze it more, he needed to move on.
A Step of Faith
There comes a time when you have to step out, in faith, and move forward. It’s scary and uncertain, but the alternative is to stay stuck wondering what might be.
Dissociation can be useful as a temporary coping mechanism, but it’s no way to live. We heal and thrive in relationships, and to do that, we need other people.
I’ve been thinking today about a passage in Luke 17 where Jesus heals ten lepers. But he didn’t heal them immediately. They had to take a step of faith first.
Jesus told them to go show themselves to the priests. Understand, they were not permitted to be around anyone because they were unclean.
They had to have faith to step out and go to see the priests. They must have been confused and afraid.
I would have thought, “heal me, and then I’ll go.” But Jesus told them to go first.
And they were healed as they went.
How many times is that the case? We often have to step out and do something first.
We have to make that decision, take that job, buy that house, or adopt that pet. Maybe we need to step out and help someone else who is hurting.
Healing often comes after action.
“Do this, and you will be healed.” It’s a step of faith.
There are few certainties in life. We have to go on intuition and/or faith. But we must act to move forward. The alternative is to sit around wishing things would change.
I think we all know how that goes.
All the therapy in the world can’t help if we don’t make decisions to move forward. We may make a good decision, and we may make a bad one. But we will never know if we just sit around and hope for change.
We eventually have to trust in ourselves and what we’ve learned.
I know, it’s hard.
I’ll let you in on a secret. Most of my writing is usually something I need to hear. So I’m speaking to myself here. I need the encouragement!
I’ve felt stuck for the past few years. Covid and my mother’s death wrecked me. I’ve felt like I was just ticking off time—not really living.
I’ve been avoiding decisions, too. There were so many to make while my mother was sick that I just shut down and couldn’t make any for a long time.
But I can’t stay here forever.
It’s time to change that, and it’s terrifying. But the alternative is to stay stuck, and I don’t like the sound of that.
Maybe you can relate to this message. Maybe you’ve felt stuck, too.
It’s okay. We can move forward together. At the worst, we will make some mistakes, learn, and start again. But at least we will be moving, and maybe we can help someone else along the way.
I truly do believe we will be healed as we go.
Let’s do this!
Lisa
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Thank you Lisa. We can move forward together in our separate journeys.